The creation of the On the Fence Mama blog.
When I had my little one, I suddenly became aware of just how fragile life is. It’s horrifically cliché, but still true. For the first six months, I was prepared to walk into the room to find her just … gone. Literally every time.
It was a horrible feeling. But with SIDS rates being what they are, it was frighteningly within the realm of possibility. I was terrified I’d lose her and mentally prepared for it every time I checked on her. Every. Time.
I also became acutely aware of how easy it would be for her to lose me.
I was exhausted and had (still have) a ridiculously long commute most days. I tried everything, but I knew I wasn’t being as safe as I needed to be. The likelihood of dying in a car crash seemed astronomically high.
I thought about all the stories I still had to tell her. All the experiences that might help her or give her some perspective being forever out of reach. I’ve never been able to keep up a journal, and a memoir wasn’t right because I wouldn’t be able to add to it as things happened. So I settled on a blog.
Some posts will be structured like rants, some as letters to my baby (or babies, someday), and some will be just stories from my past.
Hopefully this doesn’t suck.